the inspiration hits

This last week since getting back from the Yits camp, i have done 3 new 'paintings'....

And one from a little while ago..

this is whats its like (to not remember what its like)

And so the year has begun. I have spent the last three days getting to know a new community. The idea of spending 3 days with approx. 50 complete strangers (bar the 4 people I did actually know) and being able to realise that we were all going to play a pretty damn important roll in each others lives, for the next 10 or so months, is quite an experience.

I guess knowing that we were all in the same situations made it so much easier for us all to just get in there and get to know each other, not just on a superficial level, but something so much more deep and real.

It was made very clear that this was going to be a fairly big year for change. Out with the old and in with the new. The Yits ‘leaders’ in the lead up to the camp, all had a real sense that this was going to be a year of being able to let go of the past, not to worry about the future, but to just be able to live in the ‘now’ moments.

I look back at the last three days and am kind of surprised at the small changes that I can see in myself. The fact that I have even prayed, and that it has all just come out, no need for thought or embarrassment even, it has just been there.

This journey has begun…not for just the year, but for a lifetime. It is an exciting realisation, but at the same time it is hard to imagine what this year is going to bring, what confusions, conflicts, doubts, fears, realities……

One thing that is going to be paramount this year is the act of being able to surrender things to God. No matter how big or minute, but being able to fully give it over. It seems like such a simple act, but when it comes to crunch time…how much do you actually, whole heartedly, truthfully trust God to take care of it?? I struggle so much to let go of things, to fully rely that He has only the best intents for me. I guess it is such an easy thing to be flippant about, but when I really think about it, the idea of not being in control, but to just give my insecurities, my hopes, dreams, fears, my all over to God is not an easy thing to do at all. Yet to be able to draw closer to God, to be able to fully rely on Him….it is an act that is so so very important to do.

I think the idea of wanting to be in control (therefore not surrendering) is going to be one of my weaknesses. It is human instinct to want to be in control of things that affect everyday life, which makes the act so much more harder for me to achieve. It is a hard realisation that I am only human, and that God is so much bigger then that…which is why the act of surrendering makes so much sense. Yet it still seems like it is often impossible to do so.

And so goes the initial step of starting Yits. One camp down, and who knows what to come….