sing. soul. sing.

movie meme

2008-05-15T09:55:00.002+10:00

Name one movie that:

1. Made you laugh
Tank Girl

2. Made you cry
Mr. Holland's Opus

3. You loved when you were a kid
Willy Wonkers Chocolate Factory

4. You’ve seen more than once
Pulp Fiction

5. You loved but were embarrassed to admit it
High School Musical

6. You hated
The Matrix

7. Scared you
The Muppets Christmas Carol

8. Bored you
Worlds Fastest Indian

9. Made you happy
Amelie

10. Made you miserable
Once

11. You weren’t brave enough to see
I will never ever see The Exorcist

12. One character you’ve fallen in love with
Juno

13. The last movie you saw
The Bucket List

14. The next movie you hope to see
Shutter

tattoo darling

2008-03-11T17:59:00.006+11:00

A little before christmas, Laura mentioned a book that she had found called 'Tattoo Darling - the art of Angelique Houtkamp".

I dropped mega hints to my secret santa that if I got that book I would be pretty dang happy.

Being a big fan of the old school tattoo's, I am in heaven looking at Angelique's amazing artwork.

So much so that I went and got one of her tattoos, an anchor with PRD thru the banner.

Dylan and I are also getting matching tattoos, with both of us wanting to stick to an old-school pin up girl, with a few slight changes. It's an Angelique design of course...

Cross my heart

2008-03-06T14:01:00.003+11:00

I have been told that I really need to update this thang, and since it has been a couple of months and a LOT of stuff has happened since we last met, I will indulge in your requests.

And quite frankly, I am actually in a writing mood, which has not happened for a long time.

I was driving along to visit the 'lucky' 08 yitsers and had this massive feeling that everything was finally aok.

I think Christians often have this idea that its ok to lie and pretend that everything is honky-dory when, in actual fact, everything is kinda crapola. It is, as I call it, the 'Onward Christian Solider' mentality.

I was talking to someone I had never met on the phone last week, and the first thing out of my mouth was 'how are you?'

He replied that that was kind of a odd question to really answer, as people usually have a fairly blase answer, and the person who asked normally is just being polite in asking in the first place.

The conversation then went off on a totally different tangent.

Moving back to the 'Onward Christian Solider' idea:

I have to find out if there are any mental health issues (specifically depression) in my family .

Now I am dead sure that there is, but if I even thought about asking my grandparents, they would be dead sure that there weren't and aren't any such issues in the family.

I think depression is often such a taboo subject in the 'we are all sweet and nothing is ever wrong' world of Christianity and I am really not sure why.

I am aware that this post is most likely not making any sense to ya'll (that is if you have stuck around) but this is an issue that makes perfectly no sense to me.

So lets just leave it there.

p.s.

2007-12-07T00:10:00.000+11:00

I went out for dinner with my mentor 'K' tonight and felt like 'Amelie' when I tapped the top of the best dessert ever, the Crème Brule.

And then when I got home I had to kill a cockroach. With my *foot.

Such an anticlimax to my not very Amelie like night.

*Sure I had my shoes on...but that defeats the purpose of this sorry attemp of a post

life in a list

2007-12-06T18:00:00.000+11:00

Life has been to complex and messy to make a post about each thing that has been going on.
So my life at the moment - random and not in any kind of order - in a dot point/list.
Ahem:

*I have finished Year in the Son

*I still have all assignments for the aformentioned course to do

*Bridesmaid dresses are almost complete - no thanks to me. 12ish hours of material, pins and a sewing machein.

*Less then a month till the wedding of bec and geoff

*I am over christmas - more to the point, the consumeristic side of the festive season.

*I brought sombrero's today for the five of us going to pyramid rock. And no, Bec, I will NOT get burnt.

*Mental note - do not get burnt

*There are many sweet sweet gigs in the next couple of months that i wish to get my sweaty hands on -
Kate nash
Minus the Bear
Something for Kate
Sufjan Stevens

*I am sooo hanging to see mewithoutYou at Soundwave this coming Feb. I was actually speachless when I was told they were touring

*Dooce is my new love

*As is I used to dream of living in a corridor

*I will be moving out in about a months time, all going well, with Laura. Yeah..no more then 5 minutes away from the parental unit.

*I had a job interview yesterday. If successful, its goodbye piercings

Everything all of the time

2007-11-27T20:57:00.000+11:00

I have tended to neglect sing soul sing this last semester. Often I only use it as a place to vent, or to write pure crap. It was something that I was once (what now feels like years ago) inspired to write in everyday. Fuck I wish it was that easy.

Things that i would have gladly written about - music movies and the such - no longer 'do' anything for me.

A lot of the things I have been passionate about this year have all be packed tightly away and sucked into a big black mass of nothingness.

Its been hard for me to distinguish if something does make me happy, or if its just an inbuilt reaction.

I hate nothingness and meaninglessness almost more then i hate being numb.

2007-11-24T01:24:00.000+11:00

"In darkness a light shines

On me.

In darkness a light shines

On you.

Oh what'd I say?!

Oh, but sister in our darkness a light shines!

(Oh what'd I say?!)

And all I ever want to say for the rest of my life,

(Oh What'd I say!)

Is how the light is GOD!

(Our Lord is come!)

And through I've been mistaken on this or that point,

That light is God."

God moving over the faces of the water..

2007-10-22T23:01:00.000+10:00

The air around here has changed.

Last night it had a slight sticky feel to it, not a horrible one, but the beginnings of change.

Change of pace, change of seasons...change of the year as I have known it.

Driving home with Blair, we had our windows right down, and an arm out, feeling the cool breeze .

A soft scent of honey and sweet flowers was thick in the air. It was one of those smells that took you back to distant memories.

Last night was like God moving through the air, thick with expectancy and hope and excitement.

"Wrapped in the warmth of you

Loving every breath of you

Still in my heart this moment

Or it might burst

Could we stay right here

Until the end of time until the earth stops turning

Wanna love you until the seas run dry

Ive found the one Ive waited for"

lamb:Gorecki

Painting: Hot Summer Afternoon: Ann Ruttan

birds and bees

2007-10-14T18:39:00.000+10:00

I really wonder sometimes if TV executives think we are stupid.

Having flicked on the TV (hoping to find something at lest half watchable in the cess-pool called Sunday night TV) I blindly stumbled upon 'The Singing Bee.'

If I really was that desperate to watch, and unfortunately listen, to people stumble their way through half-arsed renditions of some awful songs, hosted by an American ex-boy band member ('bye bye baby' indeed) I would make more of an effort getting to the local karaoke night, rather then sitting in the comfort of my own home.

At least with drunk, grown up men singing Kylie, they throw in a few dance moves.

And don't get me started on the cheerleaders/interpretive dancers, a.k.a 'the bees' in their skimpy pole dancing gear.

It's my body and I'll do what I want to..

2007-10-05T00:16:00.000+10:00

I find it amusing the response I get when I say that I am thinking about becoming a vegetarian.

Well...aquatarian if we are going to get technical.

And no, aquatarian is not according to my 'star sign.' Nor does it consist of just drinking water. It's called a dictionary. You might find it helpful.

This last year I have been seriously thinking about becoming a vego. And I think it has caused more controversy then getting my lip pierced or my tattoo (soo I might be exaggerating a little. Or not)

Why the choice? A few simple (to me anyway) reasons:

1. My father is a biker. Biker + summer time = BBQ. I have had a life time of meat in one summer.

2. I feel so much better when I have eaten vegetarian food. More energised and calmer.

3. Less processed crap, less chemicals. Have you ever wondered why your roast chicken is so freaking big??

4. The amount of grain it can take to feed a cow, could be used to feed people in the world who actually need to be fed. Not westernised consumerist self-centered* people who say they are starving and would have no idea what starvation was even if it bit them fair on the arse. (*cough* generalisation..to a degree)

5. Yes I have eaten 'fast food'. And when I have eaten at world famous family restaurants ( Ha! What a joke) two days in a row, I get into a fowl (hehe punisment) mood.

6. What does it matter if I decide to cut meat (bar fish/seafood) out of my diet?

And yes...I now have soy milk in my hot drinks :p

2007-10-04T14:17:00.001+10:00

"If there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body so long"

The dryness and the rain

2007-10-04T14:01:00.000+10:00

What good is a dry well?
its one big crack
with dust filling up mouths
only to be spat out

Waiting for my rain
while there is a thunderstorm over your head
What is the cost of water these days?

2007-08-31T12:36:00.000+10:00

I am so consumed by all that I think to be real

But I am getting nowhere and I need you to be

Right here right now

I need you somehow to take whatever it is away

So I can believe

That you're right along side of me

I stand in an unfamilar place

I guess I've gone as far as I can on my own

So can you walk with me and know how I feel

Well I'll listen to you

So tell me what you see

Right here right now...

(the sundance kids: including the atmosphere: all you need to hear)

2007-08-30T23:13:00.000+10:00

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hold my lies inside me
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up
Brand New: The Devil and God are raging inside me: Jesus Christ
~
you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
all things know, all things know
you had to find it
all things go, all things go
Sufjan Stevens: Illinois: Chicago

~
Oh sugar, don't you cry
Oh child, wipe the tears from your eyes
You know I need you to be strong
And the day is as dark as the night is long
Feel like trash, you make me feel clean
U2: Achtung Baby: Ultra Violet (light my way)

sing soul sing

2007-08-13T23:09:00.001+10:00

Sailing in our separate ships and from each tiny caravel.

2007-08-12T12:59:00.000+10:00

'The mass of men lead lives of quite desperation.'

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

2007-08-11T19:44:00.001+10:00

Someone hit the light
'Cause there's more here to be seen
When you caught my eye
I saw everywhere I'd been
And wanna go to
~Editors : An end has a start

ashes

2007-08-11T19:16:00.000+10:00

Being in a rut is something that makes me feel like I am slowly suffocating. Waves of thoughts crash and I get stuck in one more drift.

Its been a weird start to Yits for the second semester, when I am still slowly processing things from right back from the beginning of the year.

I have no energy

and that makes it feel like I am being useless.

Every couple of months I get urges to pack up and go anywhere but here. Do something unexpected..try something new. And it has hit again.

I need adrenalin. I am sick of living in a way that doesn't fully express what I believe, what I am passionate about (and even what that is at the moment I haven't the faintest idea) and continuing to live a mundane life with the same thoughts and no actions.

I need change

and the sooner the better.

~photo was taken in Melbourne~

What would you give?

2007-07-04T00:34:00.000+10:00

Pain from pearls-

hey little girl-

How much have you grown?

Pain from pearls-

hey little girl-

Flower for the ones you've known.

Are you on fire,

From the years?

What would you give

for your Kid fears?

Secret staircase,

running high,

You had a hiding place.

Secret staircase,

running low,

But they all know,

now you're inside

Thinking today about what my fears were as a kid, i noticed a vast difference from then, compared to now.

My fears back then were real fears for a child....most children are scared of the dark, of getting lost.

Me fears today are just as real. Just as daunting.

Skipping stones,

we know the price now,

Any sin will do.

How much further, if you can spin.

How much further, if you are smooth.

Are you on fire,

From the years?

What would you give for your

Kid fears?

One thing that I remember from doing my cert III in childcare, was that there was no difference between the fear of an 'adult' and the fear of a 'child'. Both are just as intimidating and confronting. Sure, in different ways. But my fear of the dark as a 'child' is just as legitimate as my 'young adult' fear of not having kids.

Replace the rent with the stars above.Replace the need with love.
Replace the anger with the tide.

Replace the ones, the ones, the ones, that you love.

Are you on fire,

From the years?

What would you give for

your Kid fears?

I guess the difference in my fears as a child and now, my fears as an young adult, are not as self centred.

Now, I have fears for my family, for my friends, for the world around me. But I especially have fears for my beautiful god kids.

I don't want them to look around themself as such a young age, and try to understand situations that I don't even understand.

What I would give for my kid fears at the moment...

(lyrics: Indigo Girls: Kid Fears)

Open up my door

2007-07-02T10:59:00.000+10:00

The last three weeks have been quite a mind bending time. I am now in my fourth (out of six week) break from Yits. I don't think I have been expecting much from the break... I have heard many people who have done Yits in the past say that the break was one of the hardest times of the year. To this point, I failed to see where they were coming from. In a way I still do.

As a group, we have all become pretty tightly-knit. I have made some amazing (for lack of a better word) friends these past couple of months, and I wouldn't change that for anything. Friends who can tell that something is up when i walk into class...who will come up and tell me that they are going to pray for me. I am awestruck at how much these people mean to me in such a short amount of time.

I thought I would struggle these holidays to not see these people 4 out of 7 days. So far there has not been any of this. That is not to say, at all, that I don't miss them, because that is far from true.

I have been lacking in my commitment to study however. Not that i find the assignments unimportant (to a degree anyway..) but I have failed to see why I should put so much time and effort into working out my relationship with God, who I am in God, when in my head I thought I had it all figured out.

Last night i was listening to Johnny Cash's cover of Nine Inch Nails "Hurt" and something in my mind clicked...and things started to make sense.

I was not wanting to put time, effort and trust into God, because I failed to realise that I had given God human like traits, I had given him human faults. I didn't want to put time, effort and trust into someone who was just going to move away.
I had put limitations on who God was, when i can never fully comprehend nor understand who He really is.
I have not given enough credit.
I thought if I placed my energy, my trust, my love in God, he would leave.
A consumeristic relationship with the Creator.
How wrong I have been

"Everything I thought I'd learned, ambition and illusion, turned to drawings on a loose leaf sheet, of tarts and cakes I couldn't eat"

mewithoutYou:Brownish Spider

oh! so shaky

2007-06-26T17:23:00.000+10:00

I have come to realise today, that having 2 coffees and nothing to eat, can not really be very healthy for me. I am shaking like... someone who has had two coffees ( well, one real one, from koffi beans, and one crap one from the golden arches) and nothing to eat.

And now i am off to make some fresh pasta, and fresh pasta sauce.

amazing ( because thats what it is...)

2007-06-25T18:02:00.000+10:00

I am in two minds at the moment.
One is looking at the world and how stuffed up it is. A story last night on Progeria had me hating that something so fucked up could happen. I look at hurt, how much it affects people that I know and love so so much, how it affects me. I look at pictures of my god kids, and wonder how much they know of what is going on in their lives. I wonder if at their age, they can even comprehend what is happening in their own home, let along the world outside their windows.
In the year 2020, there are predictions that there will be a new pandemic. Not of Aids, but of depression in young adults. Depression already affects far too many people that I know.
And I sit her and get so so angry. At injustice, and shitty things happening to good people. And I question how such a loving grace filled God can let this happen. Why can’t he point a magic finger and fix this bloody mess. And I sit, and I struggle.

But then I look around me. And thru all the muck and craziness, pictures and words are always there. Standing out in all the crap there are things that amaze me time after time. I see people who are not products of this world. Who constantly inspire me with their words, with their actions. And it’s in times like these that I am reminded that life is beautiful. Crazy but beautiful.

What I am....

2007-06-14T20:45:00.000+10:00

Me thinks this is a subtle hint from Bec to blog a bit more.....

What I am reading:

Well.....in all honestly I should proberly be reading all books for Yits. But that hasn't happened, and I can't imagine that happening any time soon. Oh well.......

I am trying to find a copy of Alice in Wonderland, to read in preparation for my 21st party..its theme being, Alice in Wonderland. Figured it would make sense to read it.

I still have not finished 'Velvet Elvis', by Rob Bell. It is one of my aims these holidays, before finding and reading his next book 'Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality' . That and 'God's Politics', by Jim Wallis.

Also in the waiting list is:

Nick Cave: the complete lyrics 1978 - 2001

One Step Closer: Why U2 matters to those seeking God : Christian Scharen (I found this blog when I started this one...a couple of months later, found the book.)

What I am listening to:

Should really be changed to " What I am NOT listening to," for those who know me well know that i am rarely not listening to it :)

Last weekend I was very very excited to see one of my top 3 bands* Copeland preform at The Corner Hotel, along with Anberlin. It was the first time Copeland have toured in aust, and it was utterly amazing. I am now also liking Anberlin, having heard only one of their songs before seeing them live.

Right at this very moment however, I am listing to the profile song on my myspace, by The Middle East , who I saw a instore gig of a couple of months ago at Fist2Face.

*For those interested (haha) my top 3 bands are:

1. U2 : here and here

2. mewithoutYou : here and here

3. Copeland: here and as above

What I am watching:

I have not been watching a heck of a lot of tv at the moment. But I have made sure that I saw the mini doco The Choir of Hard Knocks. I loved it...words do it no justice.

Movie wise, the other day a couple of us saw Spiderman 3, which I think was the best so far.

Marie Antoinette (even if it did come out late last year) is one of my all time favourite things to watch, and has an amazing soundtrack too.

The Chaser's War on Everything is always on my ipod too for a laugh.

What I am loving:

Winter: hot water bottles, dooners and dvds, good vegie soup, chocolate bread and butter pudding with butterscotch sauce, scarves, jumpers, hoodies, beanies, gloves, ice, frost, thunderstorms, rain, puddles, gumboots, hot showers, thick socks...etc etc :)

Green tea

Kofi Beans : the best coffee shop around!

Music: what would the world be without it? A great gig is always a rad thing.

Threadless: freaking gold tees!

Bec and Geoff : what is there not to love :)

So...i don't really know who reads this thing, i am not going to pass on the meme....however, comment to tell me if you do it!

experience this

2007-06-01T10:28:00.000+10:00

I was not promised anything by becoming a christian, and had verver really thought about it, but there is a sense of being ripped off. In influence a couple of weeks back, Mark was saying how that in life, it is sexpected that if we give, we will will (and expect) get something in return. And this expectation has seeped into christian expectation. That we are approching christianity in a consumeristic way.

Sitting in class, I thought I didn't do that. In reflection this is not the case. When I pray, I expect immeadiate answers. I expect that anything that is 'good' for me will happen.

I really hate it when people walk out of a church service and say 'oh that didn't do anything for me' etc. Church is not an experience. It is not about whether it made me feel good about myself.

I hate how church has become just another experience.

2007-05-19T01:35:00.000+10:00

What I've done
*linkin park*

In this farewell,
There is no blood,
There is no alibi,
Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousands lies,

So let mercy come and wash away…

What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done…

Put to rest,
What you thought of me
While, I clean this slate,
With the hands,
Of uncertainty,

So let mercy come,
And wash away…

What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done…

For what I’ve done,
I start again,
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends,
I’m forgiving what I’ve done…
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done…

What I’ve Done,
What I’ve Done,
Forgiving what I’ve done…