sing. soul. sing.

movie meme

2008-05-15T09:55:00.002+10:00

Name one movie that:

1. Made you laugh
Tank Girl

2. Made you cry
Mr. Holland's Opus

3. You loved when you were a kid
Willy Wonkers Chocolate Factory

4. You’ve seen more than once
Pulp Fiction

5. You loved but were embarrassed to admit it
High School Musical

6. You hated
The Matrix

7. Scared you
The Muppets Christmas Carol

8. Bored you
Worlds Fastest Indian

9. Made you happy
Amelie

10. Made you miserable
Once

11. You weren’t brave enough to see
I will never ever see The Exorcist

12. One character you’ve fallen in love with
Juno

13. The last movie you saw
The Bucket List

14. The next movie you hope to see
Shutter

tattoo darling

2008-03-11T17:59:00.006+11:00

A little before christmas, Laura mentioned a book that she had found called 'Tattoo Darling - the art of Angelique Houtkamp".

I dropped mega hints to my secret santa that if I got that book I would be pretty dang happy.

Being a big fan of the old school tattoo's, I am in heaven looking at Angelique's amazing artwork.

So much so that I went and got one of her tattoos, an anchor with PRD thru the banner.

Dylan and I are also getting matching tattoos, with both of us wanting to stick to an old-school pin up girl, with a few slight changes. It's an Angelique design of course...

Cross my heart

2008-03-06T14:01:00.003+11:00

I have been told that I really need to update this thang, and since it has been a couple of months and a LOT of stuff has happened since we last met, I will indulge in your requests.

And quite frankly, I am actually in a writing mood, which has not happened for a long time.

I was driving along to visit the 'lucky' 08 yitsers and had this massive feeling that everything was finally aok.

I think Christians often have this idea that its ok to lie and pretend that everything is honky-dory when, in actual fact, everything is kinda crapola. It is, as I call it, the 'Onward Christian Solider' mentality.

I was talking to someone I had never met on the phone last week, and the first thing out of my mouth was 'how are you?'

He replied that that was kind of a odd question to really answer, as people usually have a fairly blase answer, and the person who asked normally is just being polite in asking in the first place.

The conversation then went off on a totally different tangent.

Moving back to the 'Onward Christian Solider' idea:

I have to find out if there are any mental health issues (specifically depression) in my family .

Now I am dead sure that there is, but if I even thought about asking my grandparents, they would be dead sure that there weren't and aren't any such issues in the family.

I think depression is often such a taboo subject in the 'we are all sweet and nothing is ever wrong' world of Christianity and I am really not sure why.

I am aware that this post is most likely not making any sense to ya'll (that is if you have stuck around) but this is an issue that makes perfectly no sense to me.

So lets just leave it there.

p.s.

2007-12-07T00:10:00.000+11:00

I went out for dinner with my mentor 'K' tonight and felt like 'Amelie' when I tapped the top of the best dessert ever, the Crème Brule.

And then when I got home I had to kill a cockroach. With my *foot.

Such an anticlimax to my not very Amelie like night.

*Sure I had my shoes on...but that defeats the purpose of this sorry attemp of a post

life in a list

2007-12-06T18:00:00.000+11:00

Life has been to complex and messy to make a post about each thing that has been going on.
So my life at the moment - random and not in any kind of order - in a dot point/list.
Ahem:

*I have finished Year in the Son

*I still have all assignments for the aformentioned course to do

*Bridesmaid dresses are almost complete - no thanks to me. 12ish hours of material, pins and a sewing machein.

*Less then a month till the wedding of bec and geoff

*I am over christmas - more to the point, the consumeristic side of the festive season.

*I brought sombrero's today for the five of us going to pyramid rock. And no, Bec, I will NOT get burnt.

*Mental note - do not get burnt

*There are many sweet sweet gigs in the next couple of months that i wish to get my sweaty hands on -
Kate nash
Minus the Bear
Something for Kate
Sufjan Stevens

*I am sooo hanging to see mewithoutYou at Soundwave this coming Feb. I was actually speachless when I was told they were touring

*Dooce is my new love

*As is I used to dream of living in a corridor

*I will be moving out in about a months time, all going well, with Laura. Yeah..no more then 5 minutes away from the parental unit.

*I had a job interview yesterday. If successful, its goodbye piercings

Everything all of the time

2007-11-27T20:57:00.000+11:00

I have tended to neglect sing soul sing this last semester. Often I only use it as a place to vent, or to write pure crap. It was something that I was once (what now feels like years ago) inspired to write in everyday. Fuck I wish it was that easy.

Things that i would have gladly written about - music movies and the such - no longer 'do' anything for me.

A lot of the things I have been passionate about this year have all be packed tightly away and sucked into a big black mass of nothingness.

Its been hard for me to distinguish if something does make me happy, or if its just an inbuilt reaction.

I hate nothingness and meaninglessness almost more then i hate being numb.

2007-11-24T01:24:00.000+11:00

"In darkness a light shines

On me.

In darkness a light shines

On you.

Oh what'd I say?!

Oh, but sister in our darkness a light shines!

(Oh what'd I say?!)

And all I ever want to say for the rest of my life,

(Oh What'd I say!)

Is how the light is GOD!

(Our Lord is come!)

And through I've been mistaken on this or that point,

That light is God."

God moving over the faces of the water..

2007-10-22T23:01:00.000+10:00

The air around here has changed.

Last night it had a slight sticky feel to it, not a horrible one, but the beginnings of change.

Change of pace, change of seasons...change of the year as I have known it.

Driving home with Blair, we had our windows right down, and an arm out, feeling the cool breeze .

A soft scent of honey and sweet flowers was thick in the air. It was one of those smells that took you back to distant memories.

Last night was like God moving through the air, thick with expectancy and hope and excitement.

"Wrapped in the warmth of you

Loving every breath of you

Still in my heart this moment

Or it might burst

Could we stay right here

Until the end of time until the earth stops turning

Wanna love you until the seas run dry

Ive found the one Ive waited for"

lamb:Gorecki

Painting: Hot Summer Afternoon: Ann Ruttan

birds and bees

2007-10-14T18:39:00.000+10:00

I really wonder sometimes if TV executives think we are stupid.

Having flicked on the TV (hoping to find something at lest half watchable in the cess-pool called Sunday night TV) I blindly stumbled upon 'The Singing Bee.'

If I really was that desperate to watch, and unfortunately listen, to people stumble their way through half-arsed renditions of some awful songs, hosted by an American ex-boy band member ('bye bye baby' indeed) I would make more of an effort getting to the local karaoke night, rather then sitting in the comfort of my own home.

At least with drunk, grown up men singing Kylie, they throw in a few dance moves.

And don't get me started on the cheerleaders/interpretive dancers, a.k.a 'the bees' in their skimpy pole dancing gear.

It's my body and I'll do what I want to..

2007-10-05T00:16:00.000+10:00

I find it amusing the response I get when I say that I am thinking about becoming a vegetarian.

Well...aquatarian if we are going to get technical.

And no, aquatarian is not according to my 'star sign.' Nor does it consist of just drinking water. It's called a dictionary. You might find it helpful.

This last year I have been seriously thinking about becoming a vego. And I think it has caused more controversy then getting my lip pierced or my tattoo (soo I might be exaggerating a little. Or not)

Why the choice? A few simple (to me anyway) reasons:

1. My father is a biker. Biker + summer time = BBQ. I have had a life time of meat in one summer.

2. I feel so much better when I have eaten vegetarian food. More energised and calmer.

3. Less processed crap, less chemicals. Have you ever wondered why your roast chicken is so freaking big??

4. The amount of grain it can take to feed a cow, could be used to feed people in the world who actually need to be fed. Not westernised consumerist self-centered* people who say they are starving and would have no idea what starvation was even if it bit them fair on the arse. (*cough* generalisation..to a degree)

5. Yes I have eaten 'fast food'. And when I have eaten at world famous family restaurants ( Ha! What a joke) two days in a row, I get into a fowl (hehe punisment) mood.

6. What does it matter if I decide to cut meat (bar fish/seafood) out of my diet?

And yes...I now have soy milk in my hot drinks :p

2007-10-04T14:17:00.001+10:00

"If there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body so long"

The dryness and the rain

2007-10-04T14:01:00.000+10:00

What good is a dry well?
its one big crack
with dust filling up mouths
only to be spat out

Waiting for my rain
while there is a thunderstorm over your head
What is the cost of water these days?

2007-08-31T12:36:00.000+10:00

I am so consumed by all that I think to be real

But I am getting nowhere and I need you to be

Right here right now

I need you somehow to take whatever it is away

So I can believe

That you're right along side of me

I stand in an unfamilar place

I guess I've gone as far as I can on my own

So can you walk with me and know how I feel

Well I'll listen to you

So tell me what you see

Right here right now...

(the sundance kids: including the atmosphere: all you need to hear)

2007-08-30T23:13:00.000+10:00

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hold my lies inside me
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up
Brand New: The Devil and God are raging inside me: Jesus Christ
~
you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
all things know, all things know
you had to find it
all things go, all things go
Sufjan Stevens: Illinois: Chicago

~
Oh sugar, don't you cry
Oh child, wipe the tears from your eyes
You know I need you to be strong
And the day is as dark as the night is long
Feel like trash, you make me feel clean
U2: Achtung Baby: Ultra Violet (light my way)

sing soul sing

2007-08-13T23:09:00.001+10:00

Sailing in our separate ships and from each tiny caravel.

2007-08-12T12:59:00.000+10:00

'The mass of men lead lives of quite desperation.'

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

2007-08-11T19:44:00.001+10:00

Someone hit the light
'Cause there's more here to be seen
When you caught my eye
I saw everywhere I'd been
And wanna go to
~Editors : An end has a start

ashes

2007-08-11T19:16:00.000+10:00

Being in a rut is something that makes me feel like I am slowly suffocating. Waves of thoughts crash and I get stuck in one more drift.

Its been a weird start to Yits for the second semester, when I am still slowly processing things from right back from the beginning of the year.

I have no energy

and that makes it feel like I am being useless.

Every couple of months I get urges to pack up and go anywhere but here. Do something unexpected..try something new. And it has hit again.

I need adrenalin. I am sick of living in a way that doesn't fully express what I believe, what I am passionate about (and even what that is at the moment I haven't the faintest idea) and continuing to live a mundane life with the same thoughts and no actions.

I need change

and the sooner the better.

~photo was taken in Melbourne~

What would you give?

2007-07-04T00:34:00.000+10:00

Pain from pearls-

hey little girl-

How much have you grown?

Pain from pearls-

hey little girl-

Flower for the ones you've known.

Are you on fire,

From the years?

What would you give

for your Kid fears?

Secret staircase,

running high,

You had a hiding place.

Secret staircase,

running low,

But they all know,

now you're inside

Thinking today about what my fears were as a kid, i noticed a vast difference from then, compared to now.

My fears back then were real fears for a child....most children are scared of the dark, of getting lost.

Me fears today are just as real. Just as daunting.

Skipping stones,

we know the price now,

Any sin will do.

How much further, if you can spin.

How much further, if you are smooth.

Are you on fire,

From the years?

What would you give for your

Kid fears?

One thing that I remember from doing my cert III in childcare, was that there was no difference between the fear of an 'adult' and the fear of a 'child'. Both are just as intimidating and confronting. Sure, in different ways. But my fear of the dark as a 'child' is just as legitimate as my 'young adult' fear of not having kids.

Replace the rent with the stars above.Replace the need with love.
Replace the anger with the tide.

Replace the ones, the ones, the ones, that you love.

Are you on fire,

From the years?

What would you give for

your Kid fears?

I guess the difference in my fears as a child and now, my fears as an young adult, are not as self centred.

Now, I have fears for my family, for my friends, for the world around me. But I especially have fears for my beautiful god kids.

I don't want them to look around themself as such a young age, and try to understand situations that I don't even understand.

What I would give for my kid fears at the moment...

(lyrics: Indigo Girls: Kid Fears)

Open up my door

2007-07-02T10:59:00.000+10:00

The last three weeks have been quite a mind bending time. I am now in my fourth (out of six week) break from Yits. I don't think I have been expecting much from the break... I have heard many people who have done Yits in the past say that the break was one of the hardest times of the year. To this point, I failed to see where they were coming from. In a way I still do.

As a group, we have all become pretty tightly-knit. I have made some amazing (for lack of a better word) friends these past couple of months, and I wouldn't change that for anything. Friends who can tell that something is up when i walk into class...who will come up and tell me that they are going to pray for me. I am awestruck at how much these people mean to me in such a short amount of time.

I thought I would struggle these holidays to not see these people 4 out of 7 days. So far there has not been any of this. That is not to say, at all, that I don't miss them, because that is far from true.

I have been lacking in my commitment to study however. Not that i find the assignments unimportant (to a degree anyway..) but I have failed to see why I should put so much time and effort into working out my relationship with God, who I am in God, when in my head I thought I had it all figured out.

Last night i was listening to Johnny Cash's cover of Nine Inch Nails "Hurt" and something in my mind clicked...and things started to make sense.

I was not wanting to put time, effort and trust into God, because I failed to realise that I had given God human like traits, I had given him human faults. I didn't want to put time, effort and trust into someone who was just going to move away.
I had put limitations on who God was, when i can never fully comprehend nor understand who He really is.
I have not given enough credit.
I thought if I placed my energy, my trust, my love in God, he would leave.
A consumeristic relationship with the Creator.
How wrong I have been

"Everything I thought I'd learned, ambition and illusion, turned to drawings on a loose leaf sheet, of tarts and cakes I couldn't eat"

mewithoutYou:Brownish Spider

oh! so shaky

2007-06-26T17:23:00.000+10:00

I have come to realise today, that having 2 coffees and nothing to eat, can not really be very healthy for me. I am shaking like... someone who has had two coffees ( well, one real one, from koffi beans, and one crap one from the golden arches) and nothing to eat.

And now i am off to make some fresh pasta, and fresh pasta sauce.

amazing ( because thats what it is...)

2007-06-25T18:02:00.000+10:00

I am in two minds at the moment.
One is looking at the world and how stuffed up it is. A story last night on Progeria had me hating that something so fucked up could happen. I look at hurt, how much it affects people that I know and love so so much, how it affects me. I look at pictures of my god kids, and wonder how much they know of what is going on in their lives. I wonder if at their age, they can even comprehend what is happening in their own home, let along the world outside their windows.
In the year 2020, there are predictions that there will be a new pandemic. Not of Aids, but of depression in young adults. Depression already affects far too many people that I know.
And I sit her and get so so angry. At injustice, and shitty things happening to good people. And I question how such a loving grace filled God can let this happen. Why can’t he point a magic finger and fix this bloody mess. And I sit, and I struggle.

But then I look around me. And thru all the muck and craziness, pictures and words are always there. Standing out in all the crap there are things that amaze me time after time. I see people who are not products of this world. Who constantly inspire me with their words, with their actions. And it’s in times like these that I am reminded that life is beautiful. Crazy but beautiful.

What I am....

2007-06-14T20:45:00.000+10:00

Me thinks this is a subtle hint from Bec to blog a bit more.....

What I am reading:

Well.....in all honestly I should proberly be reading all books for Yits. But that hasn't happened, and I can't imagine that happening any time soon. Oh well.......

I am trying to find a copy of Alice in Wonderland, to read in preparation for my 21st party..its theme being, Alice in Wonderland. Figured it would make sense to read it.

I still have not finished 'Velvet Elvis', by Rob Bell. It is one of my aims these holidays, before finding and reading his next book 'Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality' . That and 'God's Politics', by Jim Wallis.

Also in the waiting list is:

Nick Cave: the complete lyrics 1978 - 2001

One Step Closer: Why U2 matters to those seeking God : Christian Scharen (I found this blog when I started this one...a couple of months later, found the book.)

What I am listening to:

Should really be changed to " What I am NOT listening to," for those who know me well know that i am rarely not listening to it :)

Last weekend I was very very excited to see one of my top 3 bands* Copeland preform at The Corner Hotel, along with Anberlin. It was the first time Copeland have toured in aust, and it was utterly amazing. I am now also liking Anberlin, having heard only one of their songs before seeing them live.

Right at this very moment however, I am listing to the profile song on my myspace, by The Middle East , who I saw a instore gig of a couple of months ago at Fist2Face.

*For those interested (haha) my top 3 bands are:

1. U2 : here and here

2. mewithoutYou : here and here

3. Copeland: here and as above

What I am watching:

I have not been watching a heck of a lot of tv at the moment. But I have made sure that I saw the mini doco The Choir of Hard Knocks. I loved it...words do it no justice.

Movie wise, the other day a couple of us saw Spiderman 3, which I think was the best so far.

Marie Antoinette (even if it did come out late last year) is one of my all time favourite things to watch, and has an amazing soundtrack too.

The Chaser's War on Everything is always on my ipod too for a laugh.

What I am loving:

Winter: hot water bottles, dooners and dvds, good vegie soup, chocolate bread and butter pudding with butterscotch sauce, scarves, jumpers, hoodies, beanies, gloves, ice, frost, thunderstorms, rain, puddles, gumboots, hot showers, thick socks...etc etc :)

Green tea

Kofi Beans : the best coffee shop around!

Music: what would the world be without it? A great gig is always a rad thing.

Threadless: freaking gold tees!

Bec and Geoff : what is there not to love :)

So...i don't really know who reads this thing, i am not going to pass on the meme....however, comment to tell me if you do it!

experience this

2007-06-01T10:28:00.000+10:00

I was not promised anything by becoming a christian, and had verver really thought about it, but there is a sense of being ripped off. In influence a couple of weeks back, Mark was saying how that in life, it is sexpected that if we give, we will will (and expect) get something in return. And this expectation has seeped into christian expectation. That we are approching christianity in a consumeristic way.

Sitting in class, I thought I didn't do that. In reflection this is not the case. When I pray, I expect immeadiate answers. I expect that anything that is 'good' for me will happen.

I really hate it when people walk out of a church service and say 'oh that didn't do anything for me' etc. Church is not an experience. It is not about whether it made me feel good about myself.

I hate how church has become just another experience.

2007-05-19T01:35:00.000+10:00

What I've done
*linkin park*

In this farewell,
There is no blood,
There is no alibi,
Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousands lies,

So let mercy come and wash away…

What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done…

Put to rest,
What you thought of me
While, I clean this slate,
With the hands,
Of uncertainty,

So let mercy come,
And wash away…

What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done…

For what I’ve done,
I start again,
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends,
I’m forgiving what I’ve done…
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done…

What I’ve Done,
What I’ve Done,
Forgiving what I’ve done…

splinter in the arse

2007-05-19T00:50:00.000+10:00

Mark 3: 4Then he spoke to the people: "What kind of action suits the Sabbath best? Doing good or doing evil? Helping people or leaving them helpless?" No one said a word. (The Message)

One thing that has stuck in my mind and has been eating away at me is something that Steven Said said (oh! the irony) in our 'spirit' class at Yits, and again at a youth service a few of us went to last sunday put things into perspective, but at the same time, has made all the excuses I as a christian have used for my lack of action, slap me in the face.

This specific verse is the turning point in Jesus lfe. This was the final nail. He did the 'no-goes' every were he want, no matter the day.. and it was these actions that made him so hated.

This verse is where the proverbial brown stuff hits the fan.

Its the no if's or but's of the bible...there is good and there is evil. Jesus doesn't say its a-ok to sit ourselves on the fence...satan says to dance, a bit over here and a bit over there. There is no third option, no what if's, but's...whatever other shittyy excuses we as mere humans have cdome up with. There is GOOD or there is EVIL.

Simple.

Simple?

Simple?!?

If I continue to take in what i am learning in my journey at Yits and in this, choose to reflect Jesus thru the actions i take, the decisions I make..I have to stop sitting on the fence.

Because Sitting on the fence is a cop-out....it is infact the evil that Jesus gave as the alternative to the good.

Because if I am not doing good....I am doing evil.

There is no third alternative.

There is no third alternative.

Simple.

It is now to apply this into my everyday life, in every choice I make.

God give me strength....

Then he spoke to the people:

"What kind of action suits the Sabbath best?

Doing good or doing evil?

Helping people or leaving them helpless?"

No one said a word.

Hang me out to dry

2007-05-18T15:10:00.000+10:00

I realised the other day that the year is almost halfway through. The older I get, the quicker the years go by. I am already starting to think about next year, where i will be, what i will be doing.

In some sense i have no idea what i am meant to do next year. On the other hand, I would love to stay and continue to study at Tabor, and this is very much a possiblity.

There is only three weeks left at Yits until mid year break. I have no idea how i am going to handle the break. In some sense i am really looking forward to the break, being able to chill and work (hopefully) and just do my own thing for over a month. But I am so used to spending my days with the same 32 other people I think i will be lost for the first couple of weeks. The anticipation is killing me a little bit.

plain

2007-04-22T13:54:00.000+10:00

Dear God

We struggle, we grow weary, we grow tired. We are exhausted, we are distressed, we despair. We give up. we fall down, we lat go. We cry. We are empty, we grow calm, we are ready. We wait quietly.

A small, shy truth arrives. Arrives from without and within. Arrives and it is born. Simple, steady, clear. Like a mirror, like a bell, like a flame. Like rain in summer. A precious truth arrives and is born within us. Within our emptiness.

We accept it, we observe it, we absorb it. We surrender to our bare truth. We are nourished, we are changed. We are blessed. We rise up.

For this we give thanks,

Amen.

Leunig

Bono's NAACP speech

2007-03-26T17:21:00.000+10:00

I have looking and looking and looking for Bono's acceptance speech as mentioned in the below post...and i finally found what i was looking for (hehehe.....i couldn't help myself ;p)

A flipping amazing speech that gives a swift kick up the arse...

"......You see, I grew up in Ireland, when Ireland was divided along religious lines, sectarian lines. Young people like me were parched for the vision that poured out of the pulpits of black America, and the vision of a black Reverend from Atlanta…. A man who refused to hate because he knew love would do a better job.

These ideas travel, you know. And they reached me clear as any tune, lodged in my brain like a song. I couldn’t shake that. This was Ireland in the 70s growing up…. And people like me looked across the ocean to the NAACP. And I’m here tonight and that feels good. It feels very, very good.

Well today the world looks again to the NAACP. We need the community that taught the world about civil rights to teach it something about human rights. I’m talking about the right to live like a human.

The right to live, period. Those are the stakes in Africa right now.

Five and a half thousand Africans dying every day of AIDS – a preventable, treatable disease.

Nearly a million Africans, most of them children, dying every year from malaria – death by mosquito bite.

This is not about charity, as you know here in this room. This is about justice. It’s about justice and equality.

Now I know that America hasn’t solved all of its problems. I know AIDS is still killing people right here in America. And I know the hardest hit are African Americans, many of them young women. Today at a churchin Oakland I went to see such extraordinary people. This lioness here, Barbara Lee, took me around with her pastor, J. Alfred Smith. And may I say that it was the poetry and the righteous anger of the black church that was such an inspiration to me, a very white – almost pink – Irish man, growing up in Dublin.

This is true religion. True religion will not let us fall asleep in the comfort of our freedom. Love thy neighbor is not a piece of advice. It’s a command. And that means a lot. That means a lot. That means that in the global village we’re gonna have to start loving a whole lot more people – that’s what that means. His truth is marching on.

Two million Americans have signed up to the ONE campaign to make poverty history. Tonight the NAACP is signing up to work with us. And so can you. His truth is marching on.

Because where you live should not decide whether you live or whether you die.

And to those in the church who still sit in judgment on the AIDS emergency, let me climb into the pulpit for just one moment. Because whatever thoughts we have about God, who he is or even if God exists, most will agree that God has a special place for the poor.

The poor are where God lives.

God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house.

God is where the opportunity is lost and lives are shattered.

God is with the mother who has infected her child with the virus that will take both their lives.

God is under the rubble and the cries we hear during war time.God, my friends, is with the poor.

And God is with us, if we are with them.

This is not a burden. This is an adventure. Don’t let anyone tell you it cannot be done. We can be the generation that ends extreme poverty.

Thank you."

-BONO–2 March 2007

*found at poplemon.com

Wow....

2007-03-20T22:55:00.000+11:00

Thoes who know me well (anybody who had ever met me really) knows how much i love U2. Their lyrics have such power to them, and so do the words of Larry Mullen Jr, Adam Clayton, The Edge and, of course, Bono.
So there is a button up the top of this blog......the 'next blog' tab...you get some shockers, but then every once in a while you will come across a gem.
I was doing the said action, when i came across a blog that had a youtube video of Bono's acceptance speech from the NAACP Image Awards, for which he was the Chairman Award's Winner.
In a lot of my classes with Yits, the idea of 'loving you neigbour as you love yourself' has been on high rotation. It is one of the most paramount teachings of the Bible...in my eyes thats the majority of what this whole thing is about.

Watching this clip...it really hit home about how much it really means. And as much as we can say it..doing it is what really counts.

Bono's acceptance speech

BYW...if someone (*cough bec) could tell me how to get a clip, such as the above, into my blog...that would be swell :)

Pinkie and the brain....

2007-03-20T16:40:00.000+11:00

I finally dropped some of my stuff of the the house i shall soon be living in...and took some snaps:

My bedroom is VERY pink....

The kitchen has a rad as lounge in it...

The bath has claws on it....

Rad times ahead peeps :)

Twirl for me...twirl like a little girl

2007-03-20T16:23:00.000+11:00

Last saturday was Mel's 19th birthday party, Which found a few of us yitsers on our merry way to Bimbo's in the city. An eventful night proceeded.....

Firstly Ali and I met up at eastland, where i proceeded to get a sweet as dress (from a shop that shall rename nameless hehehe) and some sushi.

Mj met us back at my house, and gave me a haircut (quite a bit shorter...still getting used to lol)

Matt and Moo rocked up later...adn off we went.

First of all, Ali needed to drop in at her friends housewarming party in Kew. Whitehorse rd has tram-tracks...all well and good. Untill Ali points out that there is something on the road. I thought it was a dead posum..

Well..it was dead..but it was a dog, which proceeded to make a huge pooping sound as i ran over it. Lots of shreaks resulted from the girls in the back of the car :s

We arrived at the housewarming, feeling slightly out of place....the majority of people were wearing underware on the outside. Met some rad peeps..and we were on our way again.

Found a park real quick, added bonus was that it was free :)

Lined up for about 15 minutes to get in, and then had a rad night :)

Bimbo;s is more famous for their pizza then anything else...and freaking swell pizza it is too. Margareta was fresh as...but the pesto and goats cheese was freakin rad as.

If anyone is interested...during the week, all pizzas are only 4 bucks!!!! Wooooo YEah! They also have sweet pizzas..the chocolate one is ment to be flipping amazing.

(Top photo L>R: Ali, Me, Matt, Moo and Mj)

sing (part 2)

2007-03-18T14:13:00.000+11:00

woops
the second person you really need to listen to is Ali Smith..

Sing (cos its obvious)

2007-03-17T11:50:00.000+11:00

I have been loving one particular aspect of yits, that has nothing really to do with what we are learning in class. I think it has to be one of the biggest aspects of the year..without it this year, to me, would almost be pointless.
Getting to know 34ish other people, who you will be spending a huge amount of time with, on a number of different levels (emotionaly etc) has been amazing.
I have said before in a previous post, and how quickly we have all come together. Rowan has said that even they (the faciliters) were suprised to see how quickly friendships have formed, and how they haven't been exculsive at all.
One of the sweet things that has come out of all this, is all the new music I have been introduced too. Sounds lame...but its far from it. In particular, we have soooo many talented musicians in the course. So I am going to do some bragging :p

You really should check out these two amazinly gifted peeps:

Josh

And the walls came tumbling down...

2007-03-15T20:52:00.000+11:00

Yits today saw us going to see Babel for 'word,' in which we have just finished looking at the creation story, moving onto the fall.

Four stories that are all interlinked because of a specific action undertaken. It was quite interesting the discussions that took place afterwards....specifically who was to blame for starting the chain of events. There were a number of theories going around. It was interesting to see on whom the finger of blame was laid on.

The film covered such a plethora of issuse...from illeagal immigration, sucide to political crap over an ambulance between 2 opposing countries. From communication issues between a husband and wife/father and daughter/different cultures....

It was quite an emotionally seeking movie. And the more I think about it..the more my mind spins at the complexities.

Words wont do any justice for the images that were seen

scrabble art

2007-03-12T22:59:00.000+11:00

Colorblind

2007-03-11T18:45:00.000+11:00

wow...been on repeat for many hours today.

I am color...blind

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I am ready

I am

taffy stuck, tongue tied

Stuttered shook and uptight

Pull me out from inside

I am ready

I am...fine

I am covered in skin

No one gets to come in

Pull me out from inside

I am folded,

and unfolded,

and unfolding

I am colorblind

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I am ready

I am...fine

I am.... fine

I am fine

counting crows : colorblind

Leaving home (smell the morning air)

2007-03-09T01:11:00.000+11:00

yes
i am finally leaving home again.
Sweet sweet new house with rad peeps sas and corrie.
Am hanging for my own space, independance and freedom...sweet sweet freedom. No more cranky parental-unit when i leave the milo out..when i leave the hallway light on for more then 10 seconds..when i breath lol.

Rad times ahead!
looking forward to you all coming and crashing and beers and bbqs (go the vegie burgers)

I just need to get my a into g and start packing.

BBQ's wasps and paint

2007-03-04T20:46:00.000+11:00

Yesterdy morning i woke to the sound of thunder booming around, shaking the whole house. I love the sounds that come with a big storm.

Along with the storm, we lost power to the house from just after 3pm and it came back on around 10.45. Candles provided an amazing atmosphere.

So it was decided that a bbq should be had, and so it did. Cheers to tim for the gas btw :p

While others did their thing, I did mine and ended up with another painting.

On Call : Kings of Leon

2007-03-04T19:43:00.000+11:00

Every once in a while, I hear a song that stays with me. Something in it will hit me, and a lot of the time, I am not sure what about it (the song) is that gets to me. Listening to the J's a month or so ago, Kings of Leon had a song played from their forthcoming album. I can't get enough of it. It sends chills down my spine and its like I am mesmerised.

She said call me now and id come a running

If you'd call me now

baby id come a running.

Im on call to be there,

one and all to be there.

When I fall, to pieces,

lord you know ill be there waiting

(I'll be there, ill be there.)

Im on call to be there,

one and all to be there.

when i fall. to pieces,

lord you know, ill be there waiting

Im gon go,

so be there, one for all,

wont be there, when you fall to pieces,

lord you know I'll be there laughing

(i come a running)

(to be there)

I'm on call, to be there

Kings of Leon : On Call : Because Of The Times (forthcoming album, 3rd April 07)

the inspiration hits

2007-02-20T22:08:00.000+11:00

This last week since getting back from the Yits camp, i have done 3 new 'paintings'....

And one from a little while ago..

this is whats its like (to not remember what its like)

2007-02-16T12:44:00.000+11:00

And so the year has begun. I have spent the last three days getting to know a new community. The idea of spending 3 days with approx. 50 complete strangers (bar the 4 people I did actually know) and being able to realise that we were all going to play a pretty damn important roll in each others lives, for the next 10 or so months, is quite an experience.

I guess knowing that we were all in the same situations made it so much easier for us all to just get in there and get to know each other, not just on a superficial level, but something so much more deep and real.

It was made very clear that this was going to be a fairly big year for change. Out with the old and in with the new. The Yits ‘leaders’ in the lead up to the camp, all had a real sense that this was going to be a year of being able to let go of the past, not to worry about the future, but to just be able to live in the ‘now’ moments.

I look back at the last three days and am kind of surprised at the small changes that I can see in myself. The fact that I have even prayed, and that it has all just come out, no need for thought or embarrassment even, it has just been there.

This journey has begun…not for just the year, but for a lifetime. It is an exciting realisation, but at the same time it is hard to imagine what this year is going to bring, what confusions, conflicts, doubts, fears, realities……

One thing that is going to be paramount this year is the act of being able to surrender things to God. No matter how big or minute, but being able to fully give it over. It seems like such a simple act, but when it comes to crunch time…how much do you actually, whole heartedly, truthfully trust God to take care of it?? I struggle so much to let go of things, to fully rely that He has only the best intents for me. I guess it is such an easy thing to be flippant about, but when I really think about it, the idea of not being in control, but to just give my insecurities, my hopes, dreams, fears, my all over to God is not an easy thing to do at all. Yet to be able to draw closer to God, to be able to fully rely on Him….it is an act that is so so very important to do.

I think the idea of wanting to be in control (therefore not surrendering) is going to be one of my weaknesses. It is human instinct to want to be in control of things that affect everyday life, which makes the act so much more harder for me to achieve. It is a hard realisation that I am only human, and that God is so much bigger then that…which is why the act of surrendering makes so much sense. Yet it still seems like it is often impossible to do so.

And so goes the initial step of starting Yits. One camp down, and who knows what to come….

private universe

2007-01-20T19:57:00.000+11:00

No time no place to talk about the weather
The promise of love is hard to ignore
You said the chance wasnt getting any better
Labour of love is ours to endure
The highest branch on the apple tree
It was my favourite place to be
I could hear them braking free
But they could not see me
I will run for shelter
Endless summer lift the curse
It feels like nothing matters
In our private universe
I have all I want is that simple enough
Theres a whole lot more Im thinking of
Every night about six oclock
The birds come back to the palm to talk
They talk to me, birds talk to me
If I go down on my knees
I will run for shelter
Endless summer lift the curse
It feels like nothing matters
In our private universe
And its a pleasure that I have known
And its a treasure that I have gained
And its a pleasure that I have known
Its a tight squeeze but I wont let go
Love is on the table and the dinners cold
I will run for shelter
Endless summer lift the curse
Feels like nothing matters
In our private universe

Crowded house

when the minutes seem like hours..

2007-01-20T19:40:00.000+11:00

The last week and a bit have been quite peculiar. My sleeping habits have gone out the window. Along with my sleep.

Now anybody who knows me well enough, knows that i love my sleep. I love it even more now that insomnia has hit me over the head.

Good old stress is the facilitator for my restless nights.

So what have i been doing to fill in the time??

>cooking and eating dinner around 1am

>taking random photos (as shown..me at 3.45) Oddly enough, they are all of me

>watching 'love my way' season 2

>msn/gush/myspace

>cropping photos on my laptop

>making a diary for the year

I have the packet of sleeping tablets on the kitchen bench....and for whatever reason, i just haven't wanted to take them. Whether it be because i don't trust myself to not abuse the affects, or what. Who knows...its a tricky one

Last night however, i was in bed before 4.30, and actually fell asleep fairly quickly. A friend suggested i stuck on 'private universe' by Crowded House (my absolute favourite song of theirs) which i did...it was programed to repeat the max. 20 times. Nicccccccccccce

fun times my fellow bloggers

shine on you crazy diamond

2007-01-20T19:15:00.000+11:00

Once again, its erratic postings. The end of last year was unbelievably crazy, with the usual Christmas hustle and bustle, chuck in some extremely late nights (or mornings.....) and it was over before i knew it.

I always find the beginning of a new year slightly odd. New expectations, experiences and randomness are there ready to happen, whether you are ready or not.

This year is going to be full on...there is no two ways about that one. I am really looking forward to the challenges (ha ha..bet i wont be when it comes down to the crunch of it) that Yits is going to bring.

It also scares me to shit, how this year is going to make me take a long hard look at myself...and at the same time..it couldn't have come at a better time then now.

What a year it has been already...parties/bithdays/ weddings and a death have ensured the usual hectic start to my family's year.

ooh la la

2006-12-30T18:37:00.000+11:00

Le destin fabuleux de l'analise

Everything sounds better in French..

If you ever get the chance to listen to it (or if i love you enough that you can borrow it ) The Cat Empire do a fabuleux version of Hotel California in French. Freakin rad as

Restless farewell

2006-12-29T14:01:00.000+11:00

My parents raised me and my brother on some pretty sweet mucis growing up. Gotta love a bit of Bob Dylan..

Jess and I found this golden piece in mooroolbark

The Moon is in the Gutter

2006-12-27T19:39:00.000+11:00

In the darkness
even with my eyes closed
I sat there and sunk
the water flew from the tiles
and i blinked

The radio looked like an owl
and it sat there deep in its vocals
in its let down vocal
I sat there and waited for the overflow to come
but it sat there solid like ceramic bath
glistning but nothing more

I went under and
it sounded like relief
But i still couldn't breath
If i could have i would have stayed
forever and a day
deep in that dark
even with my eyes open
My skin peeled away but there was no new layer
only old wounds now
at the surface again

The ceramic bottom did nothing but groan under the pressure
I blinked and the owl did not move
but a change in its tone
Hysterical and let down
I sighed once more
in the dark
even with my eyes open

I tried to sink and block my ears
but it still filttered thru
still pulling at the string of the plug
Floating back up the contrast
was blunt and clear
There was a slit of light
coming from the rain blistered window

And still the owl sat
And still i sat
and blinked at the darkness
trying to see the light coming in

Looking for the baby Jesus (under the trash)

2006-12-11T21:43:00.000+11:00

So its the lead up to one of the most consumeristic times of the year.

I am begining to detest the sound and sights of our seculer christmas. The idea that its all about the wants of the first person..I want that..thats mine.

It feels like one big competition..who has the best decorated house, the best newest toys...the most expensive gagets. The big companies must love sucking up to parents with this seasons 'must have' plastic fantastic, (batteries not included) hunk of crap.

I hate the talk of parents at this time of the year..especialy working in childcare: The bribery of santa.....even though the kid is smart enough to figure out they will, of course, get the goodies no matter how naughty or nice they have been.

To me it feels like its such a self-absorbed season. It may be just my synical self...but this is not what i belive christmas is, nor should be, about.

The truth is, this time of the year scares me. The people out there who have no way of being about to live up to seasonal expectations, who end up feeling shitty bacause they cant compeat with the Jones' up the road.

As u2 once sang..its like looking for the baby jesus under the trash

lashings of flaver

2006-12-09T21:32:00.000+11:00

There can't be anything much better then chilled cherries on a hot summer evening....

linguistic bliss

2006-12-05T17:18:00.000+11:00

Last night at work, I was reading to a little boy, who i used to look after when he was about 8 months old. He is almost 2 now.

I was pointing to different objects on the page and he was naming them. "teddy bear, plate, shoes...." all was going ace.

Then we found a picture of an umbrella, to which L's response was "bugger."

I was in stiches.

Day old blues

2006-11-28T18:53:00.000+11:00

Coffee can do some funny things. Especialy when drunk late at night.

One of the many effects of such a night, is the grand opening of Trash and the Party Girl.

Riding the porcelain bus

2006-11-23T21:38:00.000+11:00

Its a sad day when the receptionist at your doctors surgury know what your name as you walk thru the door. This has happend the last few times i have done the dash to the doctors.

Hmm...I wish parents didn't insist on bringing their sick children into childcare.
It always seems to result in me getting sick....this time its the over-rated gastro phenomena.

Last night at young adults, i started to go hot cold, hot cold...oh such pleasent times.
Not much sleep.. thank goodness for ipods and my U2 collection, thats all I can say.

I am dreading the idea of our youth group sleep over tommorow night......

Sigh...the life of riding the porcelain bus.

a true addicit

2006-11-20T23:02:00.000+11:00

One of the six tees i ordered from Threadless

ponies foxes and the hokey pokey

2006-11-20T21:50:00.000+11:00

Kids lolly bags these days are not as exciting as when i was younger.
It was one of the kids birthday in the room above me at work today...so i nicked a lolly bag :p
I was bitterly saddened by the experience... about 3 balloons, some funkyass jelly/lolly thing and i almost choked on whilst driving, and a few chocolate coins.
There was, however a very cool finger pupet monster thingy.

But please...bring back the milk bottles, ghost drops, chocolate freckles, red skins and the plethora of ace old-school lollies that are out there lurking away in your rusty memories.

With a red guitar on fire...

2006-11-20T21:33:00.000+11:00

What a night...what a sweet sweet indescribable night.
No words can do it any justice...and i am not even going to try.

Wow..
The set list was as follows...
City Of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
Elevation
I Will Follow
New Year's Day
Beautiful Day / Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (snippet) / Here Comes The Sun(snippet)
Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of
Angel Of Harlem
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
Love And Peace Or Else
Sunday Bloody Sunday / Rock The Casbah (snippet)
Bullet The Blue Sky / When Johnny Comes Marching Home (snippet) / The Hands That Built America (snippet)
Miss Sarajevo
Pride (In The Name Of Love)
Where The Streets Have No Name
One

Encore(s):The Fly
Mysterious Ways
With Or Without You / Never Tear Us Apart (snippet) / Love Will Tear Us Apart (snippet)
The Saints Are Coming
Desire
Kite

Such a great mix of old and new

One very happy camper :)

far away (so close!)

2006-11-17T10:33:00.000+11:00

SWEET
tomorrow is THE day i have been waiting months for.
Yep...those out there who know me know that i like U2 quite a freaking bit.
And so tomorrow (i love you tomorrow) is the day..more to the point, night...when i get to see U2 :)

It only really hit me last saturday night, whilst watching a taped interview that Rove did with them, that it was actually a sweet week away till i got to see them!

I have decided that there is going to be NO U2 today or tomorrow...which is so bleeding hard for me :p

I looked up the set lists from the sydeny shows... and songs differ from night to night.

I am trying to remeber if i was this excited last time i saw them!

Man oh man

Its almost here!!!

Erm.......and if you actually read this blog.....
*Have you ever gone to a U2 concert before??
*What one??
Blah blah blah....my head is a one track minded kind

pinprick

2006-11-14T17:34:00.000+11:00

Everytime in the last week that i have come on here, or anywhere in that case, to write, there has been nothing.

I am feeling pretty burnt out. I think thats what it is.

The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoster, filled with tripping, flying and every thing in between. It feels like i have been about to jump out of a plane with no parachute.

I hate being at home at the moment. I feel like my head is going to explode whenever i hear the front door open and its family.

I am constantly tired, but lay awake for what feels like an age, before finally dropping off.

It feels like my lines are bleeding, and soon there wont be any of me left.

Tonight tonight
Smashing pumkins

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel

Believe, believe in me, believe
Believe that life can change
That youre not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight

And you know youre never sure
But your sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born

Believe, believe in me, believe
Believe in the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe theres not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight

We'll crucify the insincere tonight
We'll make things right, well feel it all tonight
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you
tonight

swedish hotpants..

2006-11-05T20:40:00.000+11:00

What do you get when you mix swedish musican José González and our own Kylie 'hot-pants' Minogue??

A damn fine version of 'Hand on your heart'

If you ever get the pleasure of hearing his cover....just make sure you get to hear it.

And we can now say that something good has come out of minogue..

Scouts honour...

2006-11-05T20:37:00.000+11:00

So far the US record industry hasn't been able to stop illegal downloading using technology or suing children, and batman appears to be busy - So now they're pulling out the big guns - The Boy Scouts.
No Really!
A Boy Scout Troop in LA has joined the crusade to end music pirating with the new Respect Copyright Badge. In the past you could earn a badge for woodcarving, camping or fire-lighting skills.
Now the scouts can make their own public service announcements about the evil of copyrighting or visit a file share website and identify what files are copyrighted.

Up next – The Girl Guides cookies to combat crack.

found here

Synthetic wonderland

2006-11-01T15:57:00.000+11:00

I was looking at the outside play area at work yesterday afternoon. It is a synthetic wonderland, full of plastic grass and plastic play. Everything is mans production.
The kids get told off for picking the leaves off the trees, which are, of course, planted behind a fence.
Thinking back to when i was a kid, one of my favourite things to do was to get done and dirty in...well dirt. Raking up the ground pretending to be farmers, picking flowers and weeds, picking the peaches pears and apples that we were so lucky to have on our property. Planting flowers, picking flowers, mowing the lawn, running bare footed (even when it resulted in rose thorns stuck well deep in the foot).
None of that is possible for many of the kids i work with. Whether it be they have no real yard to play in, to being a generation of cottenwool kids... or whatever the case...and they are definitly not getting it at childcare.
The fact that they get told off for doing 'normal' kids stuff, in exploring their environment is quite disheartning.
A big fake plastic wonderland.
I got home and got into the latest edition of Dumbo feather, pass it on, when i came across a couple of artists who are "putting the Jungle back into the Concrete."
Anna Hillman, and her Gurrilla Graphics, is simply bring forth the idea of experincing your environment

I think we are so busy in our lives, that we forget to just appericiate what natural beauty is surrounding us. We have forgotten the feel of dirt on our hands, the simple pleasures of a mudpie.....like when we were kids.

Trees by Simon Heijdens
Park(ing)! by Rebar group

Yes sir...thats my father

2006-10-31T19:33:00.000+11:00

Having two chaplains as parents has ensured that there has been lots of discussion reguarding the Federal governments plans to fund chaplains in both governemt and non-government schools.
Dad was rung up by The Age yesterday and interviewed. There was some joking on dylan and my behalf, saying he would proberly not even get a mention.

The joke was on us...

When the president talks to God

2006-10-31T19:20:00.000+11:00

WHEN THE PRESIDENT TALKS TO GOD
LYRICS BY BRIGHT EYES

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women’s' rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
Just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That's what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?

I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it

I doubt it

My beautiful babies :)

2006-10-27T17:21:00.000+10:00

I am bias....but my godkids, Jack, Charlie and Hannah are the best and the cutest and any other vomit worthy words you can think of :)

YITSYITSYITSYITS

2006-10-27T16:29:00.000+10:00

So i had my 'interview' today for Yits next year

AND I GOT IN :)

thats all...

Trash, Trampoline and the Party Girl

2006-10-26T22:24:00.000+10:00

So what a week it has been.
I think i have experienced every emotion on the spectrum in the last 8 days. Crazy stuff.
It was my birthday yesterday and i am, according to sam, now 'old.' At least i can bag out teenagers now :)
I am finally getting a cd player put in my car tomorrow morning...no more dodgy stearing from me, as i attempt to skip songs or change disks in the portable player.

My bloggings have been so haphazzard lately...
I guess this is just a reflection on my life at the moment.

I have been procrastinating the importaint stuff in lue of having a pity party.

tee collection

2006-10-23T22:22:00.000+10:00

So I am a fan of a great tee (being of the shirt variety)
Nothing brightens my day more then a great tee find....today was my lucky day.
So i bring to you a collection.....

My golden find of the day :......

You-tube I-tube we-all-tube

2006-10-21T15:46:00.000+10:00

Yes....that wonderful creation that has kept my mind of things the last few days. I have found some way cool things, especally some footage of tv programs that i grew up with. These include:

Alex Mack....the girl who had an accident involving chemicals, which made her able to turn herself into a water blob. One of my all time faves :)

Raggy dolls... another old school cartoon..i loved backtofront the best

Gumby.... hell yeah..thats all

Super Ted.... tex was the best lol

Bananaman.....made eating banana's that little bit more exciting

Bangers and mash... all they want to do is have some fun

Fireman sam.... why i wanted to be a firefighter

Gummie bears......i loved watching this at my cousins house

Inspector Gadget......i still have this on video somewhere

Captain Planet...he's our hero, gonna take pollution down to zero...yeah, i still know the theme :s

Trap door... your a fool if you dont stay away from that trap door

Care bears .....i loved watching them..so so cool

Where on earth isCarman Sandiego... kickass show, and i had the computer game too :)

all that deep-fried goodness

2006-10-17T22:02:00.000+10:00

On a some what lighter note:
on the news tonight, some american has 'invented' deep-fried coka-cola.
Simply mix coke with batter, deep-fry, serve in a coke cup, add cream and cherries, and eat your way to cardiac arrest.
sounds oh so tempting.
(do i sound convincing??)

burnt

2006-10-17T20:36:00.000+10:00

So a pretty good day at work today. Only one person said they are resigning today....
I hate going to that place, where everything is a blur and never ending.
It is so hard the drive to work. I can only do it so many more times before cracking.
Its not even helpful telling the now director...she doesnt really give a rats.
I just cant make my mind up about the whole friggin thing....its eating away at me every waking hour.
The plans at the moment are to stay for a few weeks whilst looking at agency work options, updating resume and getting a new police check.
How ironic...placebo are one my ipod "you don't care about us": If it's a bad day, you try to suffocate. Another memory... scarred. If it's a bad case, then you accelerate,you're in the getaway... car.
hmmmmmmmm
shit shit shit

so hum

2006-10-16T10:54:00.000+10:00

yet again its been a while between posts :(
I have not been able to just sit down and write as per usual. My head feels like its going to expload if i don't get all the crap swerling around out.

the past few days...

Friday was a bitch of a day
I got to work and my room was crazy..more so then usual. I was the only perminant carer there all day, which was just plain poo.
Then we all found out that our director is finishing up this coming thursday, with the new director starting today. The leader in my room decided to quit after finding that out, for various reasons. The other assistant and myself both put in transfer papers too.

Saturday was helping out at the quilt show at church, serving up scones with Jess. It was nice to get out of hom and not have to think about work and life in general. Jess and i then went to Gloria Jeans for a drink, and told them to get fair trade coffee :) We also decided to start walking together...soem form of exercies anyway. I think that will be really benifical.

Sunday.
After checking my phone at 12.16 sat night, bec sent a message saying for youth leaders to meet up at maccy dees at 8.30 am sunday, before going to church.
I was not concerntrating at all at church, which luckly was the national church survay forms. So nothing really lost there.
We (being to many to remember) went to knox for lunch and a movie.
Little Miss Sunshine was amazing.....if you get the chanch, see it.
After that, it was coffee time, so the majority of us went and did so. It was a great time to jsut catch up and all that.
My car was playing up a bit on the way to knox, and even more so on the way to dropping steve and tim back at their houses. Luckily it was just a spark plug hose had come off....erm or something.
Got home and then went out to a make poverty history event Stand Up with cam dan and a few others from church/elsewhere.

Got home and went to bed.

So then it was today...
Went to work. Pulled over and vomited on the way. Got to work, walked in and a few of the girls asked why i was there. I said on friday i would prob take today off work to look for another job. It was not a definate...but someone had been rung to cover my shift. So i left :)

who is it (carry my joy on the left, carry my pain on the right)

2006-10-07T23:27:00.000+10:00

howl

2006-10-07T21:11:00.000+10:00

pny up-close

2006-10-07T21:05:00.000+10:00

pony

2006-10-07T21:01:00.000+10:00

spectrum

2006-10-07T20:37:00.000+10:00

I have had colours flowing in and out of my thinking instrument....these are two of its results.

in the cold light of morning

2006-10-05T21:31:00.000+10:00

so it has been a while since i last visited here.
I have had the same questions going thru my head
and just need to get them out...... tis gonna be emo of me :s

Where am i going
what am i doing
why am i feeling these things
and cant talk
but cry
my head aches
and bones cry

i feel so dry and brittle
like the earth could swallow me up
and i couldn't care less

I hate work
with a passion
and every day
is one day less
in that bloody place
yet one day more
i say one more week and i will see if i stay there
and i do
yet hate it even more
then the one just gone

one of these days i will
pack up and go
find somewhere else
to spend my energy

everything feels
like i am running to stand still
harder
faster
forever after
its a maze for rats to try
its a race
a race for rats
a race for rats to die

howl
till all the pain drains away
so howl
for crying out loud
howl howl howl

For every action (there is a reaction)

2006-09-21T22:11:00.000+10:00

I got a giant kick up the arse last night, and it was a long time coming. And boy, was it needed.

I am cynical. There is no other way to put it.

I look at the way the world is, and it is so easy to blame and point the finger at those who appear to hold positions of great power, to those who are in the lime light for the decions being made, suposedly on behalf of the majority.

I was listening to "untill the end of the world' by U2 this afternoon, when this particular lyric struck me:

"In the garden I was playing the tart

I kissed your lips and broke your heart

You...you were acting like it was The end of the world"

Judus betrayed Jesus with a simple kiss.

I make promise after promise to do something....and thats all it ever turns out to be...meare words. And as it is said...actions speake louder then words.

Everytime i promise to do something about the world i live in, i find it all to complicated and cave back into my old ways. I think..oh well...someone else is doing something about it.

It is MY OWN PERSONAL responsibility to do seek justice for those who have no idea what justice is.

When i make these dead-end promises i am playing the tart in the garden.

enough is enough.

I need to be kept accountable to these promises, a swift kick up the arse when i turn a blind eye, when i feel all-too comfotable, when i turn a deaf ear, when i don't feel compassion,when i keep on sitting and not making a move.

When i keep living the way i am........

wrap me up

2006-09-18T22:48:00.000+10:00

My Uncle, who has just come back from a business trip to the US of A, told me on saturday, that almost half of the American population believe that Jesus was american.

Hmmmm.........

Not such a bleeding mess anymore....

2006-09-13T18:44:00.000+10:00

Ver pleased with how it is healing quickly. Still a bit sensitive, but not like scorching hot sunburn anymore :)

flash bang

2006-09-12T21:23:00.000+10:00

arty farty

2006-09-12T21:05:00.000+10:00

i have always enjoyed photography and the process that go with it. Year nine art was great, working in the dark room, the smell of chemicals..mmmm. I had so much fun with it all.

If i could afford it, and had no time constraints, i would have my own dark room.... yet there is no chance of that happening in the next little while :)

After getting my tattoo, i was in a creative mood, so grabbed the family dig. camera... here's the results..

I really like this one >

All it takes is 1 decsion, a lot of guts, and a little vision...

2006-09-10T22:13:00.000+10:00

Well...this is now my third attepmt at this post...lets hope it does not freeze again :x

I have finally gone and gotten 'the' tattoo...

The BEFORE shot..der

The AFTER shot

and all with NO pain relief :s

Big kudos to sam for going with me :)

the nerve of it

2006-09-05T17:44:00.000+10:00

What is it with bloody cars at the moment.
I had to start work at 6.30 this morning, and it was hard gettting up at 5.15 ( i still shudder at the thought).
Go to the car......nothing. and i mean nothing. slam the door shut, most likely waking the whole street up muttering some choice words.
Wake up mum and dad, who come out and help to jump-start the stupid thing. Then bliss...i am on my way to work.
that was untill i ahd to slow down for a red light. The car dies....i had to stop in the middle of maroonda hwy and mt dandy rd :S
So i sit there, trying to ring dad on his mob...he has the frickin thing turned off. Ring home....then ring the stress-head from work to tell her i am running...very late (we had to open the centre together) so she stresses..making me stress....blah blah blah
Some guy taps on my window and tells me he will push the car down the hwy a bit...so i "don't get hit up the arse" Always fun trying to dodge thru traffic :s
So crap morning.
The best part of the day was when i hooked my ipod to the radio and played my own music. With every few songs resulting in me jumping up and putting on the next song...woops..
When all of the cherubs had woken up, i put on some not so sleepy music, which resulted in Hurricane by Faker being played. In the first 5 seconds of it playing, on of my boys started dancing like a chicken!! So v v funny to watch. It made my day!

So now the car is fixed, i once love it again....till next time anyway.

tonight is the yits info night, so am dragging the parental unit with me to suss a bit more out about it all....

life isnt like a box of chocolates (thank goodness) its like a big ball of string...so knotted together that you cant tell where you are most of the time

explains it all really....

2006-09-02T12:06:00.000+10:00

Found this on one of my favourite blogs......tis entitled 'girl has a damaged head.'

www.tragicmagichead.blogger.com

My ears are still ringing, mouth still dry...stomach hurting from laughing.

Best night in a age.

Yes...the outer eastern burbs is a raging on a friday night.

Start off at the local pub, a handy under-five minute walk away. Cheers big-ears.

Taxi it to the local pool-hall...with a safty warning for the cabbie.

Killed 3 deer on some american shoot-em up game...beat both tim and dylan. What that has to prove is beyond me.

Talk to a few other peeps...decide to go to the club next door. Me, having never been asked for id before, is stuipd enought not to take any with me. 1 taxi ride home to call it a night. Get on the net, another taxi shows up...Dylan has to change his shoes.

Decide the night is young....back i go with the boys.

One attempted and failed hook-up...hahaha...yes i do know how to use a hula-hoop. Apparently thats the way to dance...pretend you are ...whatevering a hula-hoop. All in a good nights work.

Get home at....4ish from memory.

Dylan, the sucker, had work in the moring, so after a bit to eat, he is off to bed.

A few placebo concert flashes later....bout 5.15 and bed time for tim and i.

Wake up at 7ish...thinking it must be round lunch time. damn body clock.

sleep

up at 9.10.......

now for the rest of the day

Please

2006-08-30T09:11:00.000+10:00

So you never knew love
Until you crossed the line of grace
And you never felt wanted'
Til you had someone slap your face
So you never felt alive
Until you'd almost wasted away

You had to winYou couldn't just pass
The smartest ass
At the top of the classYour flying colors
Your family tree
And all your lessons in history

Please...please...please...
Get up off your knees
Please...please...please...Please...

So you never knew
How low you'd stoop to make that call
And you never knew
What was on the ground 'til they made you crawl
So you never knew
That the heaven you keep, you stole
Your Catholic blues
Your convent shoes
Your stick-on tattoos
Now they're making the news
Your holy warYour northern star
Your sermon on the mount
From the boot of your car

Please...please...please...
Get up off your knees
Please...please...please...
Leave me out of this please

So love is hard
And love is tough
But love is not
What you're thinking of

September
Streets capsizing
Spilling over
Down the drain
Shards of glass
Splinters like rain
But you could only feel
Your own pain

October
Talk getting nowhere
November
December
Remember
Are we just starting again

Please...please...please...
Get up off your knees, yeah
Please...please...please...Please...

So love is big
Is bigger than us
But love is not
What you're thinking of
It's what lovers deal
It's what lovers steal
You know I've found it hard to receive

'Cause you my love I could never believe

(please BY U2 found on Pop)

Wake Up Dead Man

2006-08-30T09:05:00.000+10:00

Jesus, Jesus help me
I'm alone in this world
And a fucked up world it is too
Tell me,
tell me the story
The one about eternity
And the way it's all gonna be

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man

Jesus, I'm waiting here boss
I know you're looking out for us
But maybe your hands aren't free
Your father, He made the world in seven
He's in charge of heaven
Will you put in a word in for me

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man

Listen to your words they'll tell you what to do
Listen over the rhythm that's confusing you
Listen to the reed in the saxophone
Listen over the hum of the radio
Listen over sounds of blades in rotation
Listen through the traffic and circulation
Listen as hope and peace try to rhyme
Listen over marching bands playing out their time

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man

Jesus, were you just around the corner
Did You think to try and warn her
Or are you working on something new
If there's an order in all of this disorder
Is it like a tape recorder
Can we rewind it just once more

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man

(wake up dead man BY U2 found on Pop)

2006-08-30T08:54:00.000+10:00

It funny how things work sometimes.
I was having a hard time last night while trying to got to sleep, with a million and one thoughts running thru my mind. I had the word lamentations running thru my head, after listening to Please and Wake Up Dead Man, both by U2 on Pop. So i flicked open the bible and found this. It was pretty much exactly what i needed.

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God (Lamentations 3 : 19-36)

19- 21 Never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.I remember it all— oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom.But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

22-24 God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up.They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.

25-27 God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God.It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times.

28-30 When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence.Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear.Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst.

31-33 Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return.If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way:

34-36 Stomping down hard on luckless prisoners,Refusing justice to victims in the court of High God,Tampering with evidence— the Master does not approve of such things.

all in the family

2006-08-26T16:15:00.000+10:00

My aunty (mums oldest alive sister) from New Zealand just rang, and they way she spoke reminded me of all of mum's sisters and grandma.

It got me thinking, what traits have been past on to me by my parents? Do i want these traits....what ones do i wish i had?

One thing past on to me is my middle name, being ruth. I don't really like it, purely, i think, because it is my mums own name. I really should be proud to have the same name as my own mum. Yet i still roll my eyes at it.

My dad past his sense of humer on to me. We both get the same jokes, like the same kind of comedy....i love it.

My mum past on to me the love of reading. Even when i was a baby, i would sleep anywhere as long as there was a book under my pillow.

Dad past on his creativity in the kitchen. It really annoyes me, however, when i am cooking, and he tries to tell me how to do something, or keeps making suggestions to me...ggrrrrrrr

Mum past on her ability to not care what others think of me, to beable to let comments slide off my back and not take any notice of them. This has made a huge difference to how i can interact with people and has proberly made things a lot easier for me in general.

Dad past on his love of good music. What more can i say....growing up with pink floyd, U2, bob dylan, midnight oil, van morrison...the list goes on and on

Mum also past on her shyness. When i was younger, i was terribly shy. I grew out of it at mecs slowly. I still get shy easily is social settings where the group is larger, but am fine when its 5-8 ppl.

I am not to sure how it end this rant....so this will do

empire records

2006-08-26T13:34:00.000+10:00

Nothing can beat a good find at an op-shop.....except a few really good finds.

I decided to go opshopping this late morning, going to brotherhood in croydon, and some other big one in bayswater.

At the first one, my finds were:
* a sliver tray = $3
*Book: Antonio S and the mistery of Theodore Guzman by Odo Hirsch =$1
*Book: Looking for Alibrandi by Melina Marchetta = $1
*Special mention: i found the best salt and pepper shakers...they where holly hobbs...kinda wish i had have got them

Second op-shop goods:
*Video: shooting fish, one of my faves = $2
*record: make way for dionne warwick
*record: A very special christmas: with U2, sting, run-dmc, madonna etc
*record: Tom jones live
*record: Jesus christ superstar: original australia cast soundtrack
*record: My fair lady: with rax harrison and Julie andrews
*record: Bedknobs + broomsticks: the story and songs
*record: Ain't it great to be crazy, with Mike and Michelle: we had it on tape when i was a kid
*record: Anne Murray, theres a hippo in my tub: ditto on tape

BARGAINS: the records were 3 for $2 :P

golden lions

2006-08-26T10:57:00.000+10:00

After waking up in a very creative mood i was dismaid to find i had no idea of what i really wanted to do. A few minutes later, the very girl sam sms'ed me! What a stroke of pure luck....just the girl to egg me on in the creative stakes!

We got talking linguistics ( what a brillent word) and started thinking of all the golden oldies that seem to be making a small comeback.
She then siad i (being me) had not blogged for a while.....which has led me to blog on all the golden old words/sayings we came up with...plus a few more.
Enjoy!

Buxom: as in....boy oh boy, she's a buxom lass
dandy : as in...have a dandy day
bonnie: as in....what a bonnie baby

too many....

'Boys who grow too fast become stupid and lazy'

2006-08-18T09:12:00.000+10:00

I am rarely ever sucked into the world of advertising. I have always baged out people who get sucked into the niceities of advertising.

Until yesterday that is.
Because yesterday was the day I brought a box of cheerios, just to get a new copy of the Roald Dahl classic 'Georgie's Marvellous Medicine.'

I now also know, that even though cheerios are suposed to be a 'family favourite cereal' I really don't like them.

2006-08-17T22:01:00.000+10:00

unsettle our hearts
feel challenged
feel encouraged
feel like we will never stop
continue to grow
continue to learn
in you
about you
unsettle our hearts
not get comfortable
not get lazy
not get caught up
to go
live
breath
with our all
but
unsettle our hearts

This mess we're in

2006-08-12T17:47:00.000+10:00

I have been asking dad to bring his Leunig books back from his work, as it has been a while since i have had a good look at them.
So late last night...erm...this v v early morning i did just that.

Two pieces stood out and really hit me.
I don't know why
but wow.....

both taken from 'A new pengui Leunig' by Michael Leunig

oh the randomness

2006-08-10T22:01:00.000+10:00

It has been quite a random day today
We had an angency girl intoday, who would call me Tilly....apparently i look like Tilly who was in big brother :s

Secondly, one of the kider boys was in my room playing with dressups...mainly a pink fairy dress with a pink tutu and wings, then some bright yellow pants, with a white vail on his head... a father walked in, took one look and said.....' i would be worried in a few years'
I was ropeable....... just because a boy dresses up, using his imagination and creativity does not mean he will be gay. AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG.....he is a 4 year old boy for crying out loud....

After work i went to knox, and while waiting for laura and jess to show up, a girl and guy came up to me, and asked if they could ask me a few questions/survay...and video me at the same time.
I said yes...they then handed me a present and asked me to open it.
It was a recorder (the blow-into and make a noise variety) and a cd.
they asked me if i would play it.....blah blah blah i said no, they asked why....i was too tired and embarrassed....they asked what i expected the present to be, and what i would have liked the present to be.....i said i wanted it to be food.
They then said the cd was a girl they knew playing the recorder amoung other things, and said they wanted to bless me with it.
MMMMMMMM.....i will listen to it soon and tell you......

breezy bliss

2006-08-08T21:18:00.000+10:00

It was sweet as cheese cake weather today, and i am in the loving of summer weather mood.
It is funny how much the weather can affect your mood, and it always affect kids. If you want to spend a day of hell on earth, believe me: it is possible. When its been raining and you cant take kids outside (they're like magnets to puddles)...boy oh boy...watch out.

Today was a lush day. beautiful does it no justic.
Playing outside today was pure bliss. There where summer smells around, water sunscrean and turf always smell good together.

I long for summer, lawn bowles, frozen watermelon, long light balmy nights, sitting outside, cool light clothing, swimming, laughter, ice cold drinks, dancing on the grass, fruit salad, no shoes, showers twice a day, sitting in front of a fan spraying water over your face.......

Weather like this always makes me sing summer songs

summer streaching on the grass

summer dresses pass

in the shade of a willow tree

creeps a crawling over me

I have always had songs that are my summer songs, and i love driving along with my windows open with summer sounds surrounding me

Summer inspires me, creates and swirls my mind into imagination.

2006-08-07T15:14:00.000+10:00

If you ever get the chance, check out Matisyahu.
He is a Hasidic Jew and has very nice reggae music.

wisdom hurts

2006-08-05T21:32:00.000+10:00

i am sitting here now in pure bliss, thanks to a little blue tube called bonjela......mmmmm.
Yes wisdom does rather hurt.
When you know something is not going to happen for a while, yet every inch of you wishes it would....bugger its hard.
Its fantastic when it happens to others, and i am so so very happy for those people. Yet a tiny bit of me always gets a bit sad and sorry for myself. I hate myself for that, because it is such a minority of me that feels it.
I know everything happens in Gods time....but i am on a different time wave then him it feels often.
I know all that and thats what makes it so so very hard.

'Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem,

by the gazelles, yes, by the wild dear:

Don't excite love, don't stir it up, untill the time is ripe - and you're ready.'

Song of songs 2:7

The Message

What a bitch of a verse.

Wisdom hurts....

Got to be number one in this world, in this world number one

2006-08-03T08:57:00.000+10:00

I currently have my alarm set to wake me up with jay and the doctor on triple J in the mornings. The first song that i really heard this morning was by the Custom kings....went something along the lines of what is in the title of this blog.
It got me thinking about how much in this society we aim to be number one in all we do, which is not always a bad thing, if it means we aim to do our best in all we do.
I think it becomes a problem when everything we do becomes a competition. When we try to have the worst sob story, the worst car crash story...the worst whatever.
After I had my car accident, those who where there was fantastic....they were just there, no stories of their own. When I got picked up, one of the people there just kept on bring up the accidents she had had and how they 'were so much worse then yours' I felt like slapping her...i really didn't want to know what she had gone thru...it had happended to me, and i did not want to dwell on it at that point. I got really arcked up.
What is it that makes us try to have the biggest "well this happened to me....' story?
argggggggggggggg.
It really gets my goat.

Love and Peace or Else

2006-07-28T22:21:00.000+10:00

something about this struck a cord in me. All the fears, stress, concerns, tears, everything

that has happened, has led me to here.

I You heard me in my tune

When I just heard confusion

All because of You

I am...I am.

All Because of You