so
at the moment i am feeling so-so about...everything i guess
i am sitting here feeling sorry for my self, while wearing a heart monitor for the next 24 hours.
and although i joke about the whole ordeal, i am also scared shitless about what this all could mean. Therefore, instead of bawling my eyes out, which is what i really feel like doing, i joke about the whole fricking thing.
i am so scared that this will have an impact on if i have kids or not.
even that in itself sounds pathetic, but it is a huge 'dream' of mine to have kids, and to be told that having the heart that i do, could cause problems for myself(and kid) if i do ever have them.
i am just misrible.
there are worst things going on in the world, and all i can think about is if i could have kids and have no problems with the heart during the whole bloody process.
i am sitting here feeling sorry for my self, while wearing a heart monitor for the next 24 hours.
and although i joke about the whole ordeal, i am also scared shitless about what this all could mean. Therefore, instead of bawling my eyes out, which is what i really feel like doing, i joke about the whole fricking thing.
i am so scared that this will have an impact on if i have kids or not.
even that in itself sounds pathetic, but it is a huge 'dream' of mine to have kids, and to be told that having the heart that i do, could cause problems for myself(and kid) if i do ever have them.
i am just misrible.
there are worst things going on in the world, and all i can think about is if i could have kids and have no problems with the heart during the whole bloody process.
posted by analise at 2:44 PM
1 Comments:
Dearest Ana...I just feel like giving you a huge hug. It's okay to be scared - I know I would be especially when it revolves around a really personal dream of wanting to have kids. Know that I'm here if you want to talk.
Peace and Love ~ Laura
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